Holly Black [userpic]

8 Reasons Why Unicorns are Better than Zombies

February 16th, 2007 (06:19 pm)

Okay, so Justine Larbalestier's books are really, really good. But that doesn't change the fact that she is laboring under the massive misapprehension that zombies are in some way surperior to unicorns. This is simply not so. To that end, I submit a definative list that proves, once and for all, that unicorns are just plain better.

1. Unicorn breaks occur on boingboing after particularly distressing news. You don't see any zombie breaks. There's a reason for that.

2. Unicorn tapestries. There are sure as heck no zombie tapestries. Thank goodness.

3. Unicorns make excellent toys for bloodthirsty kids.

4. Unicorns look good in origami, sand, on monuments and even on chewing gum. Zombies very seldom look good, not to mention that there will never and should never be zombie chewing gum.

5. Unicorns hunts are less apocalyptic than zombie hunts. Well, unless you are a unicorn.

6. Petting a real unicorn looks more fun than petting a real zombie. Especially because unicorns are not infectious.

7. Unicorns are hard core. They're the natural enemy of lions. C'mon, they have swords on their frikkin' heads.

8. Zombies stink. No, literally. (Although, apparently water and baking soda helps get the smell out.)

It seems that the zombies have many allies at the ready to sing their praises, but on the whole I feel that there is no way that any shambling, decomposing wretch can compare to the sparkly, sparkly goodness that is the unicorn.

I would also like to add that this is in no way a slam against revenants, vampires, animated skeletons or ghouls, all of which I like a great deal.

In other news, I think I have a fever and am hopped up on flu meds. You would have never guessed, right?

Comments

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Posted by: Six-Sided Boy (realm_of_hael)
Posted at: February 16th, 2007 11:25 pm (UTC)
LOL

LOL, that post made me laugh.
Personally, I'm more a fan of necromancers then unciorns or Zombies...but unicorns are a lil' but better then Zombies, but Zombie's are more fun to watch in movies.

Oh and Hi!

Posted by: Holly Black (blackholly)
Posted at: February 16th, 2007 11:26 pm (UTC)
Re: LOL

Hi!

The unicorns appreciate your support.

Posted by: Six-Sided Boy (realm_of_hael)
Posted at: February 16th, 2007 11:28 pm (UTC)
Re: LOL

Posted by: kimurho (kimuro)
Posted at: February 16th, 2007 11:31 pm (UTC)
Re: LOL

Posted by: Six-Sided Boy (realm_of_hael)
Posted at: February 16th, 2007 11:32 pm (UTC)
Re: LOL

(Deleted comment)
Posted by: andyleggett (andyleggett)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 10:11 am (UTC)
Re: LOL

Posted by: Janni Lee Simner (janni)
Posted at: February 16th, 2007 11:28 pm (UTC)

I was all set to point out number 2, but you beat me to it.

I'm not sure number 5 is an argument in favor of unicorns, but I'm also not sure unicorn hunts couldn't be apocalyptic. An interesting writing challenge there. (Pondering)

But otherwise, yeah, unicorns rock. Whether you're a 10-year-old girl still in her glitter phase, or a 30-something adult who's rediscovered just how edgy a well-written unicorn can be.

Posted by: Holly Black (blackholly)
Posted at: February 16th, 2007 11:30 pm (UTC)

I'm not sure number 5 is an argument in favor of unicorns, but I'm also not sure unicorn hunts couldn't be apocalyptic.

'Tis true. You caught me. I just wanted to use that link.

Posted by: Janni Lee Simner (janni)
Posted at: February 16th, 2007 11:38 pm (UTC)

Posted by: Kelsey Johnson Defatte (cocoskeeper)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 01:08 am (UTC)

Posted by: Janni Lee Simner (janni)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 04:21 am (UTC)

Posted by: Caitlin Kittredge (blackaire)
Posted at: February 16th, 2007 11:28 pm (UTC)

Zombie unicorns? :D

Posted by: Six-Sided Boy (realm_of_hael)
Posted at: February 16th, 2007 11:30 pm (UTC)

Zombie Unicorns...the perfect compromise.

Posted by: Strigine (strigine)
Posted at: February 16th, 2007 11:57 pm (UTC)

Posted by: Livia Llewellyn (livia_llewellyn)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 03:02 am (UTC)

Posted by: Kelsey Johnson Defatte (cocoskeeper)
Posted at: February 16th, 2007 11:28 pm (UTC)

Okay, so you MAY have some good points there, but I refuse to give up my zombie woodpeckers--stink and all! STANKY CRITTERS UNITE!!!!!!!!

;-D

Posted by: kimurho (kimuro)
Posted at: February 16th, 2007 11:29 pm (UTC)
unicorn hunting
Bernard the Elf

The phrase "unicorn hunts" makes me think of unicorns the ones doing the hunting (after all, they do have that weapon on their forehead) - and not the unicorns being hunted. For the one thing, my understanding was that the only way to capture a unicorn was to stake out a virgin to attract one (one instance wherein it is of vital importance for the girl not to lie about her sexual history indeed).

Posted by: Caffeinated Hockey Elf (tattermuffin)
Posted at: February 16th, 2007 11:30 pm (UTC)
mars

Hurray for flu meds! *giggle*

(I hope you start feeling better soon ... although more posts like this are always welcome on my FL!)

Posted by: Six-Sided Boy (realm_of_hael)
Posted at: February 16th, 2007 11:34 pm (UTC)
Oh...forgot to mention this...

I forgot to mention that I'm a big fan of Justine Larbalastier...I mean the Magic or Madness series is awesome.
Just saying.

Posted by: Holly Black (blackholly)
Posted at: February 16th, 2007 11:36 pm (UTC)
Re: Oh...forgot to mention this...
pic#58461154

Me too. What a blow to think such a great writer could be so very, very wrong about something like this!

Posted by: Gwenda Bond (bondgwendabond)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 12:53 am (UTC)
Re: Oh...forgot to mention this...

Posted by: Justine Larbalestier (justinelavaworm)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 05:40 pm (UTC)
Re: Oh...forgot to mention this...

Posted by: Meghan (megmccarron)
Posted at: February 16th, 2007 11:39 pm (UTC)
smirk

I have just been converted to the side of right, aka unicorns. zombies give me nightmares.

Posted by: Janni Lee Simner (janni)
Posted at: February 16th, 2007 11:41 pm (UTC)
glitter

Oh, unicorns will be happy to give you nightmares, too, if you just give them a chance. :-)

Posted by: me (respndines)
Posted at: February 16th, 2007 11:46 pm (UTC)

Unicorns are also good for skewering rapists on Veronica Mars. Sparkly poetic justice.

Posted by: Rikki Simons (rikkisimons)
Posted at: February 16th, 2007 11:58 pm (UTC)

All I know is that no zombie story ever touched me like the unicorns-in-the-waves scene in The Last Unicorn.

Posted by: Six-Sided Boy (realm_of_hael)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 12:00 am (UTC)
yeah,

Yeah, Zombie's have never been much for sentimental stuff...unless you find something romantic about someone eating your brain. Other then that though, Zombie's just don't DO sentimental.

Posted by: Rikki Simons (rikkisimons)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 12:06 am (UTC)
Re: yeah,

Posted by: Holly Black (blackholly)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 12:08 am (UTC)
Re: yeah,

Posted by: bevhale (bevhale)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 03:17 pm (UTC)

Posted by: cobweb_diamond (cobweb_diamond)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 12:12 am (UTC)

I foresee that this, like the ninja vs. pirate debate, could consume many hours.

Posted by: Six-Sided Boy (realm_of_hael)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 12:16 am (UTC)

I don't even see why that was a debate. I mean its obvious that ninja's are so much better then pirates (except for jack Sparrow)
And I'm not counting Naruto as a ninja.

Posted by: cobweb_diamond (cobweb_diamond)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 01:16 am (UTC)

Posted by: Six-Sided Boy (realm_of_hael)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 02:55 am (UTC)
Nuh-uh

Posted by: Ali (mangoalix)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 12:29 am (UTC)
Perfect

Zombies give me nightmares.... a lot.

Unicorns give me happiness.

Clear win.

xox

Posted by: ((Anonymous))
Posted at: November 4th, 2012 05:52 pm (UTC)

Unicorns give me nightmares.........

Especially the one frome the story in the "zombies vs. Unicorns" book "the third virgin" *shudder*

But still......

TEAM UNICORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Donald (tharain)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 12:32 am (UTC)
laughter

Number 3 had me choking on my macaroon. You are my total hero today!

Posted by: Steve (mroctober)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 12:37 am (UTC)

But there is no drink named after unicorns. Thus, they lose.

Posted by: Justine Larbalestier (justinelavaworm)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 05:31 am (UTC)

Posted by: Rikki Simons (rikkisimons)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 05:56 am (UTC)

Posted by: Nicole (tithe_girl)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 12:39 am (UTC)

lol wow, that was the best list ever. But i'd like to add that only unicorns know where candy mountain is too.

Posted by: ((Anonymous))
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 08:10 pm (UTC)

If you hadn't said it, I would have!!

Posted by: Miss Cecil Castellucci (castellucci)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 12:49 am (UTC)

Ha!

Unicorns win!

So much more cuddly.

I'd pick unicorn over zombie any day.

feel better.

Posted by: Justine Larbalestier (justinelavaworm)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 05:32 am (UTC)

Et tu Brutus?

Posted by: Miss Cecil Castellucci (castellucci)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 06:22 am (UTC)

Posted by: ((Anonymous))
Posted at: April 26th, 2012 09:35 pm (UTC)
Unicorns rock

Posted by: Kelsey Johnson Defatte (cocoskeeper)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 01:16 am (UTC)

Wasn't there a good guy zombie in one of Piers Anthony's Xanth books? He must've not been that drippy or stinky.

Posted by: reg (shipchan)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 02:19 am (UTC)

http://shipchan.livejournal.com/134216.html
A new time is upon us.

Posted by: Holly Black (blackholly)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 02:21 am (UTC)

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Posted by: sunmono (sunmono)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 02:29 am (UTC)

Unicorns rock! I'm glad you see the light; my friends don't. It's awful... I shall have to show them this list!

Posted by: Mary Kuna (marykuna)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 03:13 am (UTC)

I like zombies better than unicorns, so I don't know what I should name the little stuffed unicorn I got for Valentine's Day and I thought some of you unicorn experts might have suggestions. He is pastel, fluorescent, and rainbow-y, as hard as that may be to imagine, accented with purple and white. There are also some sparkly strands in his mane and tail. If anyone thinks of a good name, please let me know.

I considered calling him Zombie, but it doesn't really suit him.

Posted by: Justine Larbalestier (justinelavaworm)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 05:34 am (UTC)

At last a ray of sense amid this morass of confusion.

I think naming your stuffed unicorn Zombie is a stroke of genius. But how about Sebastian if that doesn't work out?

Posted by: Janni Lee Simner (janni)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 04:39 pm (UTC)

Posted by: Jennifer (jynyfyr)
Posted at: February 18th, 2007 09:26 pm (UTC)

Posted by: Not-So-Secret Librarian (elzebrook)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 03:14 am (UTC)

I think i just figured out what I want for graduation.

Laptops? We don't need no stinkin' laptops!

Bring on the Avenging Unicorns!!

Posted by: Little Willow (slayground)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 04:10 am (UTC)

Unicorns over zombies ANY DAY.

Unico! So cute!

Posted by: kagama (kagama)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 05:17 am (UTC)

You are so right unicorns rule...just look a the movie The Last unicorn^^
something that really irks me...is how people think an unicorn is a horse with a big horn....it isnt its more deerlike...

Posted by: bevhale (bevhale)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 05:48 am (UTC)

Hi, don't mean to be bossy, but so many people have been sick this year with the flu that I'm just sending "The Soup" to everyone.

This ia a recipe from my cookbook, Texistani: Indo-Pak Cooking from a Texas Kitchen. I give this soup to friends and relatives during flu season. I've given it to people going through chemo. I swear, this will cure the sick and raise the dead. The key to this is the red pepper and garlic (it came from China and went through Pakistan adding the pepper and garlic). It's also extremely good when accompanied with oatmeal bread.

Chicken Corn Soup

1 can chicken broth
4-6 chicken thighs (preferably skinned and boned already) yes you can use white meat, but this is more tender and shreds better
1/2 cup vinegar
1 tbl soy sauce or to taste
red pepper (at least 1/4 tsp, more if you can handle it)
black pepper (at least 1/4 tsp.)
Salt (1 tsp or to taste)
garlic (either diced or powdered at least 1/2 tsp, more if you can tolerate)
1 can creamed corn (or 1 can niblet corn and 1 tsp of cornstarch (if desired)
4 eggs

You can adjust on salt, soy, pepper and garlic to taste. I usually check it just before I add the eggs to see if it needs anything.

Combine all ingredients in a large pot (except eggs). If you are using a pressure cooker, no extra liquid will be needed. If you are cooking in a stewpot, add water to cover the chicken and cook (medium to medium high heat) until chicken is tender (you may need to add more water). Pull chicken pieces from the pot and shred, return to pot. Break eggs into a cup or bowl and scramble up before adding. Turn up heat to high and add eggs, stirring quickly for about 30 seconds. Turn heat down to medium-medium low and allow soup to cook for about 5 minutes longer. Serve. Should serve 4+.

Now go make soup and be well. Good night.

Posted by: Holly Black (blackholly)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 05:58 am (UTC)

Mmmmm...thank you. That sounds great. I even think I have the ingredients for it here.

Posted by: bevhale (bevhale)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 03:20 pm (UTC)

Posted by: kit (mizkit)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 09:34 am (UTC)

Posted by: bevhale (bevhale)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 03:21 pm (UTC)

Posted by: tonks_kittygoth (tonks_kittygoth)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 06:40 am (UTC)

You make me reallly reallllllllllly want to weave a zombie tapestry now...

Posted by: Holly Black (blackholly)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 06:42 am (UTC)

waaaaah.

Posted by: tonks_kittygoth (tonks_kittygoth)
Posted at: February 17th, 2007 09:53 am (UTC)

109 Read Comments
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